1. Tugas Pemimpin adalah memimpin
Semasa Laksamana William Frederick Halsey Jr. diangkat memimpin salah satu kapal perang Amerika pada perang Pasifik melawan tentera laut Jepun, beliau telah meminta nasihat daripada seniornya, Laksamana Nimitz. Laksamana Nimitz hanya memberi satu nasihat buat beliau: “There’s one thing you’re expected to do when you’re in command... Command!” . Iaitu hanya satu perkara sahaja yang perlu dibuat apabila kita menjadi pemimpin... pimpin!
Tugas pemimpin adalah memimpin. Jadi beliau harus memiliki jiwa, sikap, mental, jurus-jurus seorang pemimpin. Beliau berkebolehan membawa orang yang dipimpinnya kepada cita-cita dan matlamat bersama yang diidamkan. Seorang pemimpin benar-benar memimpin. Fungsi pemimpin pun bukan sekadar menciptakan pengikut, tapi melahirkan barisan pemimpin pelapis. Keberadaan pemimpin bukan untuk membuat generasi pengikut yang selalu berada dalam bayang-bayangnya.
Diperhatikan lagi, setiap pemimpin cenderung memimpin sebagaimana ia pernah dipimpin. Observasi ini terdengar sederhana, namun memiliki implikasi yang penting. Khususnya terhadap pengembangan kepemimpinan. Jika seorang pemimpin tidak memiliki mentor dengan prinsip, pola, dan perilaku kepemimpinan yang baik, maka kemungkinan besar ia juga tidak akan menjadi pemimpin yang baik.
Kajian telah dibuat bahawa pemimpin dapat memimpin berdasarkan sikap semulajadi yang inheren dalam dirinya, atau program pelatihan kepemimpinan yang beliau ikuti, atau bahkan buku yang beliau baca. Namun kemungkinannya sangat kecil dibanding yang pertama, iaitu kecenderungan memimpin sebagaimana ia pernah dipimpin.
Seorang pemimpin mestilah memimpin dengan berkesan. Sebagai pemimpin beliau mesti bercakap atau melontar idea. Idea pemimpin dinanti oleh pengikut untuk diikuti dan dilaksanakan. Pemimpin yang hebat akan sentiasa bercakap. Jika ia berada di hadapan ia akan menjadi idola untuk dicontohi dan diikuti oleh pengikut. Berada di tengah-tengah kumpulan ia akan membangkitkan semangat. Bila berada di belakang pengikut memberi kekuatan dan dorongan motivasi kepada pengikut.
Tugas pemimpin yang berkesan, beliau mesti menganjurkan mesyuarat. Tujuan mesyuarat ialah untuk menyelaraskan idea di kalangan ahli. Mengalakkan ahli untuk memberi idea semasa mengendalikan mesyuarat dengan cekap dan berkesan. Mesyuarat adalah untuk membuat perancangan dan mengatur strategi.
Membuat keputusan keputusan adalah tugas pemimpin. Pemimpin yang tidak. membuat keputusan adalah pemimpin yang sangat lemah dan menyusahkan pengikut. Keputusan yang dibuat hendaklah tidak menghina atau menjatuhkan orang bawah. Keputusan yang dibuat sama ada ya atau tidak.
Ajaran Islam menekankan ciri-ciri kekuatan fizikal dan spiritual secara bersepadu, akhlak yang mulia, kemahiran, ilmu pengetahuan dan komitmen yang tinggi untuk menjadi seorang pemimpin yang bijak berkomunikasi dan berwibawa dalam sesebuah organisasi. Justeru itu, bahawa individu yang bergelar pemimpin berwibawa itu merupakan seorang insan yang memiliki sifat keistimewaan yang tidak dimiliki oleh orang lain dalam sesuatu kelompok organisasi.
2. Komunikasi Pemimpin
“Kerjasama” adalah perkataan yang seakan nampak ringkas dan mudah tetapi sebenarnya itulah intipati utama yang akan menjamin keserasian antara pemimpin dan yang dipimpin. Sebarang masalah yang melanda, pemimpin dan yang dipimpin perlu bersatu hati untuk sama-sama menyelesaikan masalah. Bukan mementingkan diri sendiri dan mengautkan kepuasan hati untuk menjatuhkan orang lain.
Dalam kepemimpinan komunikasi beliau dengan pengikut adalah amat penting lagi kritikal. Cara berkomunikasi sama ada terang, tepat atau jitu akan memberi kesan kepada kelakuan dan prestasi pengikut.
Komunikasi kepemimpinan ialah kebolehan mempengaruhi pengikut dan melibatkan penggunaan kuasa oleh pemimpin dan penerimaan pengikut. Kebolehan mempengaruhi pengikut berhubung kait dengan memenuhi matlamat organisasi.
Masa kini, pemimpin tidak boleh dilabel lagi sebagai seorang pemimpin yang baik atau tidak baik tetapi trend adalah mengatakan seseorang pemimpin itu berkesan atau tidak dalam memimpin.
3. Matlamat Diri Dan Organisasi
Matlamat merupakan unsur yang dititikberatkan dalam kepemimpinan. Pemimpin yang berkesan harus melibatkan diri dengan matlamat individu dan organisasi. Matlamat ditujukan kepada suatu kedudukan atau keadaan pada masa hadapan yang apabila tercapai akan memberi sumbangan terhadap tercapainya misi sebuah organisasi.
Tetapi manusia, seperti pemimpin dan pengikut juga mempunyai matlamat mereka sendiri. Pemimpin yang berkesan perlu memimpin organisasinya agar matlamat-matlamat organisasinya, dirinya, dan pengikutnya tercapai.
Menurut Islam, pemimpin harus menjadi contoh dan teladan kepada yang
dipimpin. Contoh dan teladan yang perlu ditunjukkan bukan sahaja stail, kaedah, dan strategi berkomunikasi tetapi juga tentang akhlak dan amal ibadat. Menurut Islam lagi, seseorang yang baik dalam komunikasi tetapi kekurangan dalam bidang akhlak dan beramal soleh, belum lagi boleh dianggap sebagai pemimpin yang baik. Malah, Islam meragui kebolehan seseorang boleh menjadi pemimpin yang baik, jika akhlaknya buruk dan amalnya kurang.
Kejayaan ataupun kegagalan sesebuah organisasi itu banyak bergantung pada kewibawaan pemimpinnya dan bagaimana sesebuah organisasi tersebut diarah, diurus, ditadbir dan dikawal selia. Oleh itu, pemimpin mesti mempunyai kewibawaan, kemampuan mengurus, dan memimpin yang unggul, di samping daya motivasi yang tinggi untuk diteladani oleh pengikut-pengikutnya.
Selain itu, pemimpin yang berwibawa merupakan seorang pemimpin yang berilmu dan amat memahami matlamat, hala tuju, pendekatan dan kehendak-kehendak organisasi yang dipimpinnya. Beliau juga mestilah seorang pemimpin yang mampu membuat keputusan selari dengan kehendak dan matlamat organisasi. Ia juga mestilah mampu berkomunikasi dengan baik dan sempurna dengan ahli organisasi yang lain. Seterusnya, pemimpin yang berwibawa mestilah seorang yang mempunyai akhlak yang mulia dan keperibadian (syakhsiyyah) yang unggul.
Pemimpin berperanan untuk mempengaruhi orang bawahannya dalam melaksanakan tugas-tugas yang diberikan demi mencapai matlamat organisasi. Oleh itu, seorang pemimpin perlu mempunyai perancangan yang jelas dalam mengatur dan menyusun ahli-ahli organisasi sesuai dengan kemahiran yang dimiliki masing-masing. Begitu juga, para pemimpin perlu mengetahui dengan mendalam matlamat organisasi, pendekatan yang digunakan dan cara operasinya, supaya pemimpin dapat mengarah hala tuju dan gerak kerja ahli organisasi ke arah pencapaian matlamat yang ditetapkan. Kesemuanya ini merupakan aktiviti yang perlu dilaksanakan oleh seorang pemimpin. Oleh itu, sekiranya seorang pemimpin itu memiliki kemahiran tersebut, ia akan memantapkan lagi kewibawaannya.
PENUTUP
Sebagai rumusannya, kewibawaan merupakan sifat yang dimiliki oleh seseorang pemimpin. Kewibawaan seseorang pemimpin terhasil daripada kemampuan, kelayakan akademik, kecemerlangan kerja dan akhlak yang dimiliki. Hasilnya, kewibawaan menyebabkan seseorang itu dihormati, disegani, disanjungi, dan dipatuhi. Jika seseorang yang berwibawa itu menjadi ketua, keputusan mereka dihormati dan dipatuhi tanpa bantahan. Jelasnya, kewibawaan merupakan sifat istimewa yang semula jadi atau terhasil dari proses-proses tertentu yang seringkali dikaitkan dengan keunggulan, kecemerlangan dan karismatik. Pemimpin berwibawa sama ada dari perspektif ilmu pengurusan atau Islam merupakan seorang yang berkelayakan dari segi kemahiran dan pengetahuan, berkemampuan melaksanakan tanggungjawab. Beliau juga merupakan seorang yang dihormati dan disegani bukan sahaja kerana pangkat, tetapi juga kerana akhlak dan keperibadiannya yang unggul.
Kekuatan kepemimpinan Rasulullah s.a.w. telah berupaya untuk membina
empayar yang luas dan berkait rapat dengan isu-isu kehidupan dan organisasi. Rosabeth Moss Canter, seorang penulis The Change Masters menyatakan untuk mahir dengan cabaran di masa depan, pemimpin harus mahir dengan 3C - Concept; Capability; Communication (konsep, kebolehan, dan komunikasi). Pada 400 tahun lalu, Nabi Muhammad S.A.W. telah pun menggunakan strategi itu. Peribadi dan personaliti beliau menjadi panduan yang berharga dalam kepemimpinan. Seorang pemimpin juga merupakan agen perubahan dan dipenuhi dengan sifat berkorban serta tidak mementingkan diri sendiri.
Oleh yang demikian, dapatlah dirumuskan bahawa Islam menekankan ciri-ciri
kekuatan fizikal dan spiritual secara bersepadu, akhlak yang mulia, kemahiran, ilmu
pengetahuan dan komitmen yang tinggi untuk menjadi seorang pemimpin yang
berwibawa. Justeru itu, bahawa individu yang bergelar pemimpin berwibawa itu
merupakan seorang insan yang memiliki sifat keistimewaan yang tidak dimiliki oleh
orang lain dalam sesuatu kelompok. Kewibawaan yang dimiliki akan membantu
seseorang pemimpin itu dalam memimpin keluarga, masyarakat, dan negara dengan
lebih berkesan dan sempurna. Sebagaimana yang telah ditegaskan, kewibawaan
merupakan satu asas penting yang membolehkan seseorang pemimpin mewujudkan
suasana kerja yang kondusif serta memupuk motivasi ahli-ahli organisasi dalam
melaksanakan amanah yang diberikan.
veni vidi vici
Showing posts with label General. Show all posts
Showing posts with label General. Show all posts
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Is the political situation for real
Tuesday May 13, 2008
Is the political situation for real?
CERITA LAH BY KARIM RASLAN
It’s getting harder to interpret political developments in the country with just about everyone trying to stake a claim to the future. The disorder we’re experiencing is just that: random and inexplicable.
IT'S a naked power grab out there,” my friend said as he dragged on his cigarette. “No one’s in charge and there’s no over-arching strategy – everyone’s just trying to figure out an angle and stake a claim for the future.”
With Umno diminishing day-by-day – witness its recent lacklustre 62nd anniversary and the Barisan Nasional languishing in its shadows – once-peripheral players are beginning to assert themselves.
Unsurprisingly, it’s getting harder to “interpret” political developments, and my cigarette-smoking friend’s world-weary cynicism may well appear to be the best reading of what’s going on.
There are lurches to right and left – moves to restore the credibility of the judiciary that are then undermined by a spate of incomprehensible sedition charges that only serve to compromise a security apparatus that we had thought was supposed to be in the process of being cleaned up.
Back in the 80s and 90s we “knew” that events were being driven from above – that Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad mainly (and then occasionally Tun Daim Zainuddin or Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim) were the “game-players”.
They were the latter-day dalang or puppet-masters – directing policy-making, creating billionaires out of lowly managers and accountants, dispensing favours and issuing instructions.
They also destroyed and – with equal verve – removed political opponents and overturned state governments.
Well, that was the past.
Nowadays we can no longer look to the Umno elite and expect to understand what’s going on. The disorder we’re experiencing – the Indonesians would call it zaman edan – is just that: random and inexplicable.
There is no logic to any of it save that individuals are seeking to stake a claim to the future; just hear MCA vice-president Datuk Ong Tee Keat’s recent public statements on multi-racial politics.
So how do we interpret all these random events? How do we make sense of them and place them in their proper context?
Let me tell you about the factors I’m watching at the moment and why:
Firstly, I’m keeping an eye on Sabah leaders. If we accept the idea of Sabah and Sarawak as the “fixed deposit” for the Barisan Nasional administration then it pays to understand how one key community perceives the current political situation.
The Kadazans – most of whom are Christian – have been among the most poorly treated of all Malaysia’s minority communities. By dint of long-term Federal connivance the Kadazans have been turned into second-class citizens in their own state.
And now with the rise of Islamic conservatism, Malaysia’s largest Bahasa Melayu-speaking Christian congregation, the Sidang Injil Borneo (with well over half a million followers in Sabah and Sarawak alone) is now experiencing an unpleasant push on their religious freedoms albeit ameliorated by a recent court decision to allow judicial review of the use of the word “Allah”.
If Anwar’s ambitions of becoming Prime Minister are to materialise, he will need to win over this embittered community and their frustrated leadership.
Upko chief Tan Sri Bernard Dompok and PBS head Datuk Seri Pairin Kitingan remain deeply sceptical of Anwar. Still it would be unwise to underestimate Anwar’s powers of persuasion. If men like Pairin change their views, power in Putrajaya may also shift.
Secondly, the Malay rights debate. Contrary to what the participants in the recent Kongres Permuafatkan Melayu think, this is a non-issue. With well over 60% of the national population the Malay-Muslim community dominates Malaysia’s public life whether through Umno, PKR or PAS.
At this stage we cannot be certain which of the three parties will prevail, but whatever happens I’m sure Malaysia will remain a fairly conservative, majority Muslim nation-state with a strong Malay cultural milieu.
It’s foolhardy to think that the Malay community has suddenly changed; if anything it is just fragmented.
Still, this fact seems to have escaped DAP chairman Karpal Singh in particular and a number of his party leaders who continue to harp on about a “Malaysian Malaysia” whilst being unable to win over any prominent Malay figures into their party.
Certainly the position of party adviser Lim Kit Siang would be greatly enhanced if he had some heavyweight Malay party members alongside him.
PAS’ studied silence on this issue meanwhile, is an indication of the inherent complexity. Frankly they’d rather not be drawn into the debate.
However, it has to be said the politician who can take charge of this issue, energise the community and show a capacity to lead will in turn be able to claim the mantle of Malay leadership.
In this respect Umno’s top brass have been totally unimpressive. Their regressive appeal to the royal houses accompanied by primordial cries of “ketuanan” (supremacy) are only serving to divide the Barisan.
Still, both Umno veteran Tengku Razaleigh Hamzah and Anwar have attempted to articulate progressive alternative visions and it will be interesting to see the extent to which these ideas take root.
Thirdly, is the deteriorating economic environment. With prices of household goods rising almost daily, the Government is finding it ever more difficult to shield the population from the impact of global inflation.
If this continues the Prime Minister’s prospects are not good.
The unhappiness that’s currently being felt in the socio-political sphere will inevitably seep into the broader population, creating a receptive ground for small-scale, localised demonstrations such as the recent anger over the toll roads.
As these gather in intensity and frequency, the Government will be hard-pressed to manage the situation.
So, take your ringside seat at the new spectator sport that is Malaysian politics. Suspend your incredulity and shock if only for moment. Yes, these men and women are our leaders – we elected them.
Maybe you’ll need some stronger than a cigarette now?
Is the political situation for real?
CERITA LAH BY KARIM RASLAN
It’s getting harder to interpret political developments in the country with just about everyone trying to stake a claim to the future. The disorder we’re experiencing is just that: random and inexplicable.
IT'S a naked power grab out there,” my friend said as he dragged on his cigarette. “No one’s in charge and there’s no over-arching strategy – everyone’s just trying to figure out an angle and stake a claim for the future.”
With Umno diminishing day-by-day – witness its recent lacklustre 62nd anniversary and the Barisan Nasional languishing in its shadows – once-peripheral players are beginning to assert themselves.
Unsurprisingly, it’s getting harder to “interpret” political developments, and my cigarette-smoking friend’s world-weary cynicism may well appear to be the best reading of what’s going on.
There are lurches to right and left – moves to restore the credibility of the judiciary that are then undermined by a spate of incomprehensible sedition charges that only serve to compromise a security apparatus that we had thought was supposed to be in the process of being cleaned up.
Back in the 80s and 90s we “knew” that events were being driven from above – that Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad mainly (and then occasionally Tun Daim Zainuddin or Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim) were the “game-players”.
They were the latter-day dalang or puppet-masters – directing policy-making, creating billionaires out of lowly managers and accountants, dispensing favours and issuing instructions.
They also destroyed and – with equal verve – removed political opponents and overturned state governments.
Well, that was the past.
Nowadays we can no longer look to the Umno elite and expect to understand what’s going on. The disorder we’re experiencing – the Indonesians would call it zaman edan – is just that: random and inexplicable.
There is no logic to any of it save that individuals are seeking to stake a claim to the future; just hear MCA vice-president Datuk Ong Tee Keat’s recent public statements on multi-racial politics.
So how do we interpret all these random events? How do we make sense of them and place them in their proper context?
Let me tell you about the factors I’m watching at the moment and why:
Firstly, I’m keeping an eye on Sabah leaders. If we accept the idea of Sabah and Sarawak as the “fixed deposit” for the Barisan Nasional administration then it pays to understand how one key community perceives the current political situation.
The Kadazans – most of whom are Christian – have been among the most poorly treated of all Malaysia’s minority communities. By dint of long-term Federal connivance the Kadazans have been turned into second-class citizens in their own state.
And now with the rise of Islamic conservatism, Malaysia’s largest Bahasa Melayu-speaking Christian congregation, the Sidang Injil Borneo (with well over half a million followers in Sabah and Sarawak alone) is now experiencing an unpleasant push on their religious freedoms albeit ameliorated by a recent court decision to allow judicial review of the use of the word “Allah”.
If Anwar’s ambitions of becoming Prime Minister are to materialise, he will need to win over this embittered community and their frustrated leadership.
Upko chief Tan Sri Bernard Dompok and PBS head Datuk Seri Pairin Kitingan remain deeply sceptical of Anwar. Still it would be unwise to underestimate Anwar’s powers of persuasion. If men like Pairin change their views, power in Putrajaya may also shift.
Secondly, the Malay rights debate. Contrary to what the participants in the recent Kongres Permuafatkan Melayu think, this is a non-issue. With well over 60% of the national population the Malay-Muslim community dominates Malaysia’s public life whether through Umno, PKR or PAS.
At this stage we cannot be certain which of the three parties will prevail, but whatever happens I’m sure Malaysia will remain a fairly conservative, majority Muslim nation-state with a strong Malay cultural milieu.
It’s foolhardy to think that the Malay community has suddenly changed; if anything it is just fragmented.
Still, this fact seems to have escaped DAP chairman Karpal Singh in particular and a number of his party leaders who continue to harp on about a “Malaysian Malaysia” whilst being unable to win over any prominent Malay figures into their party.
Certainly the position of party adviser Lim Kit Siang would be greatly enhanced if he had some heavyweight Malay party members alongside him.
PAS’ studied silence on this issue meanwhile, is an indication of the inherent complexity. Frankly they’d rather not be drawn into the debate.
However, it has to be said the politician who can take charge of this issue, energise the community and show a capacity to lead will in turn be able to claim the mantle of Malay leadership.
In this respect Umno’s top brass have been totally unimpressive. Their regressive appeal to the royal houses accompanied by primordial cries of “ketuanan” (supremacy) are only serving to divide the Barisan.
Still, both Umno veteran Tengku Razaleigh Hamzah and Anwar have attempted to articulate progressive alternative visions and it will be interesting to see the extent to which these ideas take root.
Thirdly, is the deteriorating economic environment. With prices of household goods rising almost daily, the Government is finding it ever more difficult to shield the population from the impact of global inflation.
If this continues the Prime Minister’s prospects are not good.
The unhappiness that’s currently being felt in the socio-political sphere will inevitably seep into the broader population, creating a receptive ground for small-scale, localised demonstrations such as the recent anger over the toll roads.
As these gather in intensity and frequency, the Government will be hard-pressed to manage the situation.
So, take your ringside seat at the new spectator sport that is Malaysian politics. Suspend your incredulity and shock if only for moment. Yes, these men and women are our leaders – we elected them.
Maybe you’ll need some stronger than a cigarette now?
Taking loved ones for granted
Taking loved ones for granted
SIGHTS AND SOUND
By Xandria Ooi
THE other day, my mum called to tell me that she and my fa-ther were considering buying two placements in a memorial park as their final resting place ''when the time comes''.
I know very well that there will come a time when we will leave this world, but it is not something I often think about.
It is okay to plan for birthdays, weddings and retirement, but planning for death is not the norm. Not because it is not logical or practical, but to think of death is to bring on fear.
My boyfriend asked me a few days ago if I fear death.
“No, but I fear pain. But what I fear most of all, are the deaths of my loved ones.”
Just the mere thought of not seeing my parents and brother again cripples me with fear. When my parents speak of where they would like their final resting place to be, I am afraid to listen and refuse to take it seriously.
My grandfather was taken ill recently, and when I paid him a visit I was reminded that even the strongest and healthiest of us will not stay that way forever.
My father is 53 this year. He goes to the gym a few times a week, takes care of his diet and is far from old. He is able to fix almost anything in the house and he still takes cares of me like he always does.
All these years, I have looked upon my father as someone who is infallible, strong and able to find a solution to any problems that I may have.
It scares me to think of the day when he will not be as he is now, when time and age catches up. I would rather not see the lines around his eyes, or how tired he looks at times. I don’t want to notice him limping a little sometimes because his feet hurt.
My father is not a superhero, but sometimes it is easy to forget that because of how well he takes care of the family and me. Too often, I take his love and his health for granted.
When someone loves you unconditionally, it is easy to be careless with that love, because you assume that it will always be there.
You forget to say thank you, or be polite, or even do something nice in return.
During a meeting with the managing director of a company who is interested in working with me on an endorsement project, he said something to me that no one has ever said before.
“No offence Xandria, I think your work is great but the reason you are here is because of your mum.”
“Your mum is such a good person. I think what you are today is because of your upbringing. So you have to thank your mum and dad,” he told me with a smile.
I couldn’t be happier or more proud hearing this. I have always wished that people could see that. My mum is my manager, and I have had people being nicer to me than they are to her.
Some have even been downright insensitive and rude to her, but sugary sweet to me.
I have never understood that. Being a manager of a company is not an easy task, and if the company runs smoothly, it is very much due to good management.
My career has been on a steady climb because my mum is an amazing businesswoman and manager. I have manners, respect, compassion and faith because my parents have taught me that.
I have written in a previous article that if someone should praise me, they should praise my parents 10 times over.
Many have asked me during interviews if I feel that my mum is overprotective as my manager, and my answer is that I am much more protective of her.
Even then, I cannot be a hypocrite. I cannot expect people to be nice and kind to my mum when there are many times when I have also hurt her with my impatience and attitude.
The worst part of it is that the hurt she experiences because of me is much more painful than those inflicted by others.
And the irony is that it is often easier to be nicer to acquaintances and friends, than it is to be mindful of the feelings of our loved ones.
Mother’s Day has just passed and Father’s Day is around the corner. Being able to celebrate these occasions is just a reminder of how fortunate we are to have known unconditional love.
Death is inevitable and maybe if we stop and think about death once in a while, we would appreciate life better.
SIGHTS AND SOUND
By Xandria Ooi
THE other day, my mum called to tell me that she and my fa-ther were considering buying two placements in a memorial park as their final resting place ''when the time comes''.
I know very well that there will come a time when we will leave this world, but it is not something I often think about.
It is okay to plan for birthdays, weddings and retirement, but planning for death is not the norm. Not because it is not logical or practical, but to think of death is to bring on fear.
My boyfriend asked me a few days ago if I fear death.
“No, but I fear pain. But what I fear most of all, are the deaths of my loved ones.”
Just the mere thought of not seeing my parents and brother again cripples me with fear. When my parents speak of where they would like their final resting place to be, I am afraid to listen and refuse to take it seriously.
My grandfather was taken ill recently, and when I paid him a visit I was reminded that even the strongest and healthiest of us will not stay that way forever.
My father is 53 this year. He goes to the gym a few times a week, takes care of his diet and is far from old. He is able to fix almost anything in the house and he still takes cares of me like he always does.
All these years, I have looked upon my father as someone who is infallible, strong and able to find a solution to any problems that I may have.
It scares me to think of the day when he will not be as he is now, when time and age catches up. I would rather not see the lines around his eyes, or how tired he looks at times. I don’t want to notice him limping a little sometimes because his feet hurt.
My father is not a superhero, but sometimes it is easy to forget that because of how well he takes care of the family and me. Too often, I take his love and his health for granted.
When someone loves you unconditionally, it is easy to be careless with that love, because you assume that it will always be there.
You forget to say thank you, or be polite, or even do something nice in return.
During a meeting with the managing director of a company who is interested in working with me on an endorsement project, he said something to me that no one has ever said before.
“No offence Xandria, I think your work is great but the reason you are here is because of your mum.”
“Your mum is such a good person. I think what you are today is because of your upbringing. So you have to thank your mum and dad,” he told me with a smile.
I couldn’t be happier or more proud hearing this. I have always wished that people could see that. My mum is my manager, and I have had people being nicer to me than they are to her.
Some have even been downright insensitive and rude to her, but sugary sweet to me.
I have never understood that. Being a manager of a company is not an easy task, and if the company runs smoothly, it is very much due to good management.
My career has been on a steady climb because my mum is an amazing businesswoman and manager. I have manners, respect, compassion and faith because my parents have taught me that.
I have written in a previous article that if someone should praise me, they should praise my parents 10 times over.
Many have asked me during interviews if I feel that my mum is overprotective as my manager, and my answer is that I am much more protective of her.
Even then, I cannot be a hypocrite. I cannot expect people to be nice and kind to my mum when there are many times when I have also hurt her with my impatience and attitude.
The worst part of it is that the hurt she experiences because of me is much more painful than those inflicted by others.
And the irony is that it is often easier to be nicer to acquaintances and friends, than it is to be mindful of the feelings of our loved ones.
Mother’s Day has just passed and Father’s Day is around the corner. Being able to celebrate these occasions is just a reminder of how fortunate we are to have known unconditional love.
Death is inevitable and maybe if we stop and think about death once in a while, we would appreciate life better.
